February 13, 2009


This past week, I've read "The Birth We Call Death" by Paul H. Dunn and Richard M. Eyre. It's pretty good and really short (83 pages). I didn't realize it but the train analogy from James Schwartz's speech at Evan's funeral came from this book. Another excerpt that I love is as follows:

Any dear possession, if separated from us for good purpose, and if
returned in even better condition, produces joy rather than agony and
peace rather than frustration.

One man loses his billfold containing a large sum of money. Another,
with the same amount, sets goals and makes a planned investment. Both are
now separated from their money, but one feels the bite and bitterness of
permanent loss, while the other anticipates the day when he will
retrieve his investment and enjoys the knowledge that it will probably
grow in the meantime.

A loss that we cannot comprehend or accept (and a loss that is considered permanent) is bleak and stark and comfortless; but a temporary
separation as a part of a goal and plan is acceptable and, in a way even
joyful. The loss of a loved one–the parting of the spirit from the body–is
not a permanent loss, neither is it a separation we cannot accept or
comprehend. Rather, it is indeed an indispensable part of the goal and plan
of God.

I love the part about both men being separated from their money. It really helps me to put our loss into perspective. It DOESN'T make it easier. We still miss Evan tremendously. But it does help. Tymon and I watched some of Evan's videos last night and had a good cry. I love listening to him "talk" or coo. And as I type, Jocelyn is making similar noises. It's so precious to me.

3 Riveting COMMENTS:

  1. Have you read "The Message"? It's a good short read as well. I love your family's pictures. My mom actually couldn't take a fam. pic until 8 years after the boys died. I'm so glad you did that. Happy Valentines Day!

  2. I did read The Message a couple of months ago. It gave me quite a few things to think about.

    I wanted to take a family photo soon after Jocelyn was born but wish I would have a few weeks before. The last one is with Evan at 6 weeks old. We've got to take a new photo every year because I think that's about how often we add a child.

  3. Thanks for sharing this Bridget and for being so transparent with your process. It is a blessing to many of us!


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