September 19, 2009

Gratitude

I won't focus on my flight from my moody belligerant boys last night and the following stress-free evening spent with my cousin...instead, I'll tell you about what I'm grateful for. Just as my husband was coming home from work and pulling into the neighborhood, I was leaving. I'm thankful he said, "okay" and didn't question me when I told him I was done and drove off.

I was delighted to find UN-USED eraser sponges in my cupboard yesterday afternoon. Yes, it has been months since the boys used a sharpie on my walls. I'm excited that I got my laundry room floor swept and organized. Yes, those little particles of whatever have been sticking to my feet for some time now. And they are gone...for now. It makes me smile that Jocelyn can crawl up into her swing in the family room and close the bar to hold herself in and then will swing and swing to her heart's content. Jett complains about unloading the dishwasher because, "it's too hard!" I have him stick to it and finish and last time when he exclaimed, "it's not hard, Mom! Mom, it's not hard!" it was all the motivation I needed to continue to teach him to work. I loved it when Tymon actually liked the summer squash casserole I made. Our neighbor has given us 12 of them and we've eaten 10 so far.

I'm pleased that the blue flowers we have ready to take to Evan's grave on Wednesday are happy and healthy and love the rain shower that came this morning. I'm touched by the love of friends and family, especially at this time in our lives. It's one of the ways in which we feel Heavenly Father's love for us. I'm continually amazed that the pain of losing Evan doesn't go away. I didn't know love went so deep. When my uncle died or as each of my grandparents died, I cried. Sometimes more than once. But I didn't cry about it a week or two later...and certainly not months later...or a year later. I think I'll be crying about my Evan until I see him again. And even then I'll cry tears of joy. I'm grateful for eternal families and the love of a Heavenly Father who understands the depth of love far greater than I do.

6 Riveting COMMENTS:

  1. Bridget, A year ago, my heart broke for you. Hardly a day has gone by since when I haven't wondered how you are doing. As the year mark is approaching, I just wanted you to know that I am still thinking of you and yours and that I love you.

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  2. Brid, this entry is beautiful. I read it to Tom as I cried for you and with you. I love you and am again, so sorry for this deep, deep pain of losing Evan, and the constant pain of missing him. We pray for you often and will be thinking of you especially on Wednesday.

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  3. Bridget,so much love and so much pain all wrapped up together. Big hugs for all of you this week. Love you all.

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  4. Bridget & Tymon and kids,
    I am thinking about your today, so sorry for your loss, and also so grateful for the wonderful famlily you are. Hugs!
    Liz

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