April 4, 2011

Parenting 505: To Be VS. To Do

I've decided to dump my School of Hard Knocks approach to parenting and enroll in Parenting 505. It's a divinely inspired 10 minute course I listened to yesterday afternoon during the world-wide conference of our church. I loved the distinction Elder Lynn G. Robbins drew between being and doing and disciplining children. "Because be begets do and is the motive behind do, teaching be will improve behavior more effectively than focusing on do will improve behavior." (3:48 -3:58) I love the examples Elder Robbins uses to show us the positive qualities we should focus our disciplining on (rather than only addressing the negative actions that need to be corrected). As I change my focus, I will also become a more effective parent. My negative disciplining do's (frustrations and anger) will decrease and eventually disappear (probably about the time I'm an empty-nester).

One of my favorite quotes related to the struggles of parenting a challenging child makes me laugh every time I hear it:
Rather than wonder what you might have done wrong in the pre-mortal life to be so deserving, you might consider the more challenging child a blessing and an opportunity to become more God-like yourself. With which child will your patience, long suffering, and other Christ-like virtues most likely be tested, developed and refined? Could it be possible that you need this child as much as this child needs you? -Lynn G. Robbins (6:18 - 6:48)

My next step? Apply my newfound Parenting 505 knowledge to my own children... That'll take a little longer than 10 minutes. Focusing on the be rather than the do will require conscious effort...but I'm pretty sure it is pre-requisite to moving to the next level

5 Riveting COMMENTS:

  1. i loved that too when i heard it!!

  2. I absolutely LOVED this talk and made Cliff wake up to finish watching it. I have been trying harder to work on the to BE, but like you said it will take a lot longer then the 10 minutes. I still find myself disciplining the DO. Such a hard habit to break.

  3. Fantastic post about an excellent talk!

  4. Thanks for posting that! That totally helps with Step-kids, I bet, too.


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