July 2, 2011

Birth Story: A Compilation

No matter how many times I have given birth and how free I keep my calender, I am always nervous about where I may be or what I will be doing when I go into labor. And also important is who will be home to take my other kids at that time? Does anyone hear their phone at 3am? Because that's what time I woke up this morning with a strong contraction and urge to pee. My pelvic bones are looser than all get out and I needed to turn over. I think that one seemingly simple movement took me 2 minutes to accomplish. And it took another minute to walk to the toilet. It had me seriously wondering if today is the day.

And it might be. After all, I did get the freezer defrosted and cleaned yesterday. I'd only been putting it off since Memorial Day. And Tymon and I got a couple of shelving units put together that have been sitting in the garage for months on end. And some of the chaos sorted. I wouldn't exactly call it nesting. Just doing a few things that have needed attention. For a while. Kind of like these birthing posts. I truly meant to do one per week before Kira's birth. Ha ha. But they are all here now.

All of my previous birthing experiences have been drug-free. I expect Kira's to be the same. All babies have been in the head down facing backward position, except Jocelyn. Her head was sideways with an arm up. I expect Kira to be head down. I wonder if she'll face forward and the back of her skull will move past my pelvic bone in a worst pain of my life type of manner. And pray that she won't.  Each birth, my water has broken at the very end of labor. A few pushes left to go. Except Graeden. His was an hour before birth. I expect Kira to be the same as the majority of her siblings. 

I know I'm in transition when I start chanting. And the more guttural the sound, the closer the impending birth. I know that the only way to get through the ring of fire is to actually push through it. It sounds so simple. It's just not.  Pain doesn't just go away on its own. It has to be worked through and finessed. Metaphorically speaking, it took me a long time standing on Labor Cliff unsure if I really wanted to jump into Birth Lake or not before I actually did. I'd prefer to do it on my own, naturally, rather than have someone else carry me down and slip me into the water. It's been an faster decision with each successive child. It only took one push to get Jocelyn's head through the fire. I expect Kira's to be the same.

Each labor started on its own and took me by surprise...even though Graeden's was jump started by the doctor stripping my membranes. Every day I think, "today may be the day." And still I wait. Unsure if my expectations are realistic. This birth will be different. I won't be at home. In my tub. With Heike. Listening to stories from my mom. Getting tired. Sitting on my birthing stool. Holding Tymon's hand. Resting and pushing at the same time.

Kira's birth will be different. But in most ways, I expect it to be the same. Even in a hospital setting, Tymon and my mother will be there doing what they do. Heike will be there if she's available. I'll still have a midwife. And a birthing stool. And a tub.

While I do not know the meaning of all things, I do know that God loves me. Each new experience helps me to grow and molds me into the person I am today. While I only understand a small portion of who He is, my journey through life and motherhood help me to understand Him better. 

And so a new journey begins! Maybe today.

3 Riveting COMMENTS:

  1. I marvel at your fierce strength and the way you face each of life's twists and turns. Completely owning and living in your god-given womanhood is inspiring. With that, I hope you have a safe birth and a sweet, healthy baby very soon - and that the next few weeks bring you peace, happiness and unbridled joy. Best wishes to you, Bridget!

  2. Thank you Michelle! Happy Independence Day to you! I'm pulling to have a little freedom from pregnancy today...we'll see...

  3. I enjoyed reading the birth stories of all your children. Man, you're strong!
    I wish you the best in this deliver and pray that everything will work out the way you're hoping it will, that the doctors will listen to you and what you want/need, and that Kira will be healthy and a happy addition to your family. See you soon :-)


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