September 29, 2011

Distracted


dis·tract·ed

    adjective /disˈtraktəd/ 

    1. Unable to concentrate because one's mind is preoccupied
      • - Charlotte seemed too distracted to give him much attention
      • - she ran her fingers through her hair in a distracted fashion
    2. Troubled or distraught
      • distracted with grief


I've been meaning to write this post for a while. I just haven't. I've been preoccupied. It's not the same like it is when I'm pregnant. No, nothing like that. It's more similar to the time after Evan passed away. My mind was certainly elsewhere for a long time back then. 

This time is different. I'm having difficulty staying present in just about every conversation I have. Or with any book I try to read. Or any lesson I teach. Or post I plan to write. Whether I'm at home, work, or church; it doesn't matter. If I'm with friends, family, or strangers; it makes no difference. It's a struggle for me to focus. Or for my mind to clear.


Despite this, I've still managed getting together a small birthday party for Jocelyn. It wasn't too difficult. Just dinner at a local Mongolian grill and ice cream at Baskin Robbins. That was yesterday. And today, I got a new crown, went to a few clothing stores and we did family photos before going to curriculum night at school. So I can push through it. It just takes a lot of effort. More than I'm used to giving. And I'm tired.

My mind reserves being in the present with just one person. It's Kira. I like to hold her, nurse her, change her diaper, sneak in snuggles and kisses and even get her to smile. She is truly a gift. 

1 Riveting COMMENTS:

  1. Hey Bridget! I followed your blog back in '08 for awhile, but then dropped off. Felt like checking in tonight when I couldn't sleep. I love the way you tell stories! And I hope that when all this crap with CPS is over we'll get to hear the detailed version of Kira's birth :) (I kept scrolling, looking looking looking lol).

    Ugh. I can't believe what's going on for you guys. I'm sure you're right that you're story is meant for more than just you guys. It's scary that this could be happening and people can threaten to take away children. I think people need to know what's going on.

    Anyways, thank you for having an awesome blog and sharing stuff with pretty much everyone. Did I ever tell you that Graeden was the first baby I ever held? I didn't even want to because I didn't like babies at the time, but everyone else was holding him and somehow I ended up doing so. I remember thinking he was kind of cute. A few years later I got over thinking babies were weird. Anyways, Graeden's special :D And so are the rest of your kids (even though I haven't met 'em).

    Love,
    ~Cassanndre

    ReplyDelete

Go ahead. Comment.
You know you want to.
And I love hearing from you.

 
Design by April Showers