October 24, 2012

Just The Right Size

This past week Kira gave me her shoes.
She wanted to go somewhere.
We weren't doing anything.
But all the same, she was ready in case we did.


Another little boy used to do that.
He knew whenever we were going anywhere.
Found his shoes in the closet.
And waited patiently on the bottom step.
For us to help him get them on.

We tried to bury his shoes with him.
We couldn't find one.
But tore the house and cars apart looking.
It was not to be found.
Not even when we moved and cleared out the entire house.

I broke down.
Crying.
Frustrated.
We can't put one shoe in the casket. 
Shoes come in pairs.
Where's that damn shoe?


Kira.
My baby.
Older today than our sweet Evan.

I'm grateful
Each day we have her.
I worry that she'll be taken from us early.
I pray
That I'm wrong.
That I can hold her forever.
That she'll grow up.
And run around with her siblings.

Memories of Evan frequently come 
When the girls are little.
Doing what Evan did.
Climbing on the table.
Turning off my computer.
Pouting when needing a hug.
Wiggling during diaper changes.

Those memories will fade.
Again.
Like they did when Jocelyn passed him.
It'll be the same as Kira grows.
But for now
She's just the right size.

 
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2 Riveting COMMENTS:

  1. Had to fight back tears while reading this. Kira even looks a lot like Evan.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't have the right words, except this is such a lovely, heartfelt tribute to all your children.

    ReplyDelete

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