Angel Evan

In September 2003, we were a happy family with 4 young boys aged 1, 2, 3 and 4. I was pregnant with our first girl due at the end of the month. I was always leery that she'd really be a girl. I didn't truly believe that our family could actually get a little girl after 4 boys. We welcomed Jovana, our Serbian exchange student, into our family in August. She lived on a cot in our computer room. As we pushed the capacity of our home to the limit, there were countless delays on the new construction of  the new house and so many decisions to make about features, colors, and renegotiation with the bank when the builder lost the property. As we packed our possessions and rid ourselves of stuff that wasn't going to be moving with us, we also arranged to fix up the home we were living in. Painters came to do a number on the exterior of our home. Our oldest started kindergarten (with some early entrance testing) and it turned out he needed glasses. We were coming to the end of our busy season at the driving school.

Demands on our time were high, until Tuesday morning, September 23, 2009. Tymon was leaving for work in the morning and saying good-bye to the boys. Two were eating breakfast. One was still asleep. He couldn't find Evan (our 15 month old), who was usually awake at that time and climbing into bed with me. He would usually find it hilarious to sit on my head. I didn't usually find that so funny since he had on a soggy overnight diaper. After doing a quick search of the house, Tymon asked the two who were awake where Evan was. They said he was asleep. Tymon returned to the bedroom and couldn't find him. He felt impressed to lift up the giant Love Sack. He was surprised to find Evan unresponsive under it.

The world stopped.

The First Day
The Hospital
Evan's Passing by Tymon Johns

The First Week
God's Plan Doesn't Lesson the Hurt
E-van Sleeping - The Funeral
Tender Mercies
Eulogy - by Tymon Johns

Ugly Grief Reflections
Denial - This Isn't Happening To Me
The Hospital Experience
Babies Everywhere
Christmas Joy?
The World Doesn't Stop

Grief Matures
Come What May and Love It
Sweet Dreams
Grave Stone
Jocelyn turns the same age as Evan was when he died.

Grief Books I Read
A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis
The Birth We Call Death, Paul H Dunn and Richard M. Eyre
Joy Cometh In The Morning
Empty Arms
Silent Cradle
And Should We Die...
Design by April Showers